Stop Privacy. Haha!

(I just feel this is fun sharing. But no, you won’t learn any lesson haha. Note: Published without permission.)

Opong: Musta lovelyf mo?
glen: loving myself hehe..
Opong: Hahahaha
Opong: Tama!!!
Opong: May prospect na ba?
glen: wala pa haha
Opong: Bakit??
glen: wala pang dumadaan..
Opong: Hahahaha..
Opong: Kaw kc ang dumaan..
glen: ah ako ba dapat? hehe..
glen: akala ko manghaharang lang ako
glen: hihi
Opong: Hahahaha..
Opong: Pwede..

Christmas Party in the Office

Hehe, mairaos lang daw. Sa office na nag party. HS theme. Pwede pwede? 😉

My 2011 Year-end Holiday

I don’t even want to call it Christmas break this year because it’s not.

The last time I drafted something for this blog I got too emotional missing my Mom. It was the only time each year that we get to be complete as a family.

Tonight, Sis offered me a free fare just to go home on Christmas and spend a happy holiday (“para masaya,” she said). But aside from being tired from work, from everyday travel, from thinking, I also decided a few weeks ago that this Christmas, I’d spend a lot of time for myself.

I’m not to sure about stats, but from what I know, the average life span of Filipino men is 60 years. That means, if the Mayan calendar is wrong, I would have already lived half of my life. If the Mayans are right, then the whole 2012 is best spent on living life to the fullest because it will be the last new year we’ll ever see. But let’s not worry about that. We can talk about more morbid things later.

What I’m trying to say is that, I have to deal with myself and attempt to regain my focus. To re-align with God’s direction. To fix the rail where I have been derailed. The last time I did this (in deep self-pity, mind you) was in 2007, a year after I quit my job in Manila and decided to come home to the province. I was jobless and frustrated. Hopeless and helpless. I had no money, no savings, no internet. There was no cable. I was a bum. Employers never called. It was about 8 months of awful meaninglessness – I had too much negativity, too much Glen in me.

To kill time, I learned about hacking. Using my phone to access the internet (well, it was WAP so it’s not internet as we know today) for free. I downloaded about P5000 worth of mobile games. I met virtual people online, right in the comfort of our home. I’d stay up late every night. Oh and I think I had a virtual girlfriend back then from Cebu named Angel, whom no one knew about (she was chubby and sickly while I was dark, skinny, Mr. acne-face – I don’t know if that could have ever worked out). Reading old emails though, I counted our email communication lasted for more than a year, yet I never gave her a single phone call.

Yes, I managed. Everything happens in God’s perfect time.

I want to make use of this holiday to get to know myself again, how much I’ve changed. How fast things passed and evolved. And how I can improve more. There are life lessons in everything. Everything will fall into place at the proper time.

Some friends may call me a living contradiction. Some of them may have thought I was different, that I had more faith easily translatable to strength in facing life’s difficulties. I hate to have let them down. And I hate to have proven their perception wrong. But that is ME in the most vulnerable, human form. Oh yes, some of them walked out on me. And some got fed up with my mistakes, and wanted to bail out. What they saw is the stubborn in me. I pray that they’d hold on till the end.

But this. This is something I MUST do.

Laiya, Batangas

 

Do you have to let it linger?

The thing is I shouldn’t just appear to be okay. I have to be okay inside.

I know that it’s too early to measure the progress I’m making in moving on. That I had to write about this again shows that something in me still, ahm…, tingles, for lack of a better term.

I think that’s the problem in having been in a relationship. You kind of get used to it. You look for that comfort you once felt with another person. Someone who has been so reassuring, so caring, so sweet (sweetest when you quarrel about petty things then quickly make up). I miss every single thing.

However, it is much too important to note that you should never “linger” in the past. That’s from the Holy Book.

linger
v. intr

1. To be slow in leaving, especially out of reluctance.

I had to look it up. And seeing it defined as something related to speed, i.e. slow, I know I should pick up the pace. Having it defined that way also explains why it’s difficult to move on: Reluctance (exhibiting or marked by unwillingness). So choose to move on and be willing to.

I’ll keep this short 😉