God’s Best

Maybe it was the shortest relationship you’ve ever had, but it was my longest. It was my first. You were my first everything. And I was flattered when you couldn’t believe it. You were my very first kiss, and my second, and third and and… okay you get the point. You were my only girl.

Because we were distant, I hated working on Saturdays, I couldn’t go home for you. The first time we saw each other as a “we” you waited for me until 2am. When I dropped by your house straight from Manila, I was nervous. I think you saw that, and as I hurriedly left, you asked for a hug. I gave you a kiss on the cheek. It was the most magical night, and I couldn’t believe it was real.

I am most comfortable with you I never had to pretend. When I grabbed your hand on our first date, I didn’t know you were surprised at the gesture. Everything was natural to me, it was as if my hands were designed to hold yours (okay it was a bit awkward, I was living a fantasy, I didn’t know what to do!). I know I had to let you walk a long way, I may have even dragged you a bit, because of the awkward way I walked. You hate walking.

You were never the foodie type. When we went out, you ate almost anything, yet you didn’t eat much. I think you preferred eating at home, your place in particular. I like staring at you when you eat, and I love it when you ask me why I stare at you while you eat. I love it most when you spoonfed me, especially with that lumpiang sariwa you forced me to eat. It didn’t taste bad at the time.

You were always late for not less than two hours. But you know, even if you always were, just as long as you came, I was on high – you are worth every wait.

You wore subtle perfume. The kind that I had to get near you enough to smell it. I love how you smell. I love how your hair smells. When you sniffed me aloud and you told me you memorized how I smell, that was one of the many sweet things you said to me. I stink. But you said I didn’t. And then you hugged me so tight.

We used to chat every night. I didn’t mind staying up late even if I had work the next day. You energized me so much. Then late night chats evolved to texting. Then when you got tired of texting, we called each other up a lot. I just love your voice. I love all your stories, and you never ran out of it.

We watched Wow Mali at the same time while we were apart and we both laugh so hard over the phone on the slapsticks of your “tropa.” Your laugh is distinct. When you laugh, it’s as though it gets suspended in mid-air, gasping for breath. Makes me happy all the time.

You sang about 20 songs to me once over the phone while I was stuck in traffic. If it were possible to fall in love with you more, it was that very moment. It was the moment I became afraid of ever losing you..

Which I did eventually. I lost you. For whatever reason, it was unclear. I thought long and hard and cried about it, until one day came. I no longer needed reasons. You were gone. And finding reasons won’t bring you back.

If I could tell your heart what to feel, I’d be tempted to make it love me so you’ll come back. But that defeats the very purpose of love: that is the decision to share yourself to another unconditionally.

My prayer is that you find God’s best for you. If you already did, then I guarantee you, both of our prayers are answered. So always smile. And always have a date with God. It makes all the difference…

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Click to Resume >>

Sunday was a heart-opener for me. I’d been too focused with a lost relationship to someone I thought was the “love of my life,” when I should have been working on reviving a dying relationship with my Creator and Therapist.

Just a while ago, I realized that I have been eating out alone again (which was normal and is normal again). Food started to taste like food again. And my taste buds (those that remain alive) are now seeking for more flavors.

I don’t rush getting home anymore. I like looking at stuff. I like walking on a normal pace. My feet dragged me to my favorite bookstore where I previously hang out. I enjoy reading just the book titles (and that’s mostly it). They have seats now, and sometimes I sit there and pretend reading, when all I’m doing is just enjoying the quiet.

Everything is now clearer to me. All that I need to do is laid out. Everything I needed to get rid off is now gone. My excitement on simple pleasures is back. I also look forward to having my cable subscription back. Perhaps by the end of the month. I miss our TV. I hope it still works because it has been asleep for quite sometime now.

I bought a pump for my ball today, and while I look silly pumping air with that tiny pump, I successfully inflated the ball enough for it to bounce. I forgot that I was practicing on my bball moves. Again, I can shoot. It’s the driving part that drives me crazy. Will practice dribbling again on weekends.

Learning chinese. Hmm… can maybe wait.

Iphone 5 hmm.. can wait (but it depends!)

New clothes…CAN’T wait. I’ve been wearing the same set every week. But it has to wait. I’m saving up for a trip.

Praying and listening to God? Yes of course. He’s the reason I’m right on track, He pressed me on to resume.

Have a good night and God Bless you! =)

kitkat and taho

If it’s a choice between Taho and Kitkat I’d be torn

There’s something about taho and kitkat that satisfies not only hunger and taste, but also the emotional need for comfort foods.

I have always been fascinated by taho in those aluminum drums. How it’s shaped so solidly (or is it considered liquid?) inside. The mere resemblance of that taho to a humongous jello already offers me some sort of lulling in a duyan. The arnibal is not as complicated to make. The sago may be a little more time consuming to prepare. But all these three ingredients mixed together (but only slightly so you won’t confuse it for vomit, hehe) creates a snack and dessert in one.

Kitkat. This for me is a 2011 breakthrough. No there’s nothing new about its taste, shape and even packaging. I just sort of “bumped” into it early this year. Since then I made it a habit to pick one everyday. Or at least 4 times a week. I guess it’s one of a few things that I never outgrew as a kid. Back then, chocolates came in many forms and from many places. Even locally, there was this brickhard chocolate bar the size of 2 gold bars that my mom brought from Batangas. It was dark chocolate that was never meant to be eaten on its own. But I did. With a knife! Now Kitkat has been on my morning diet since this year.

So if by some form of economic superpower or by food monopoly we are left to choose one among only 2 choices, Taho and Kitkat, it’ll be one complicated life.